Since the majority of women don’t or can’t orgasm from penetrative sex, oral sex can be the key to their pleasure. It’s already well documented that straight women don’t have as many orgasms as heterosexual men or as lesbian women - partly because cis-het sex often finishes when the man comes. (I can count on one hand the number of times I was offered oral sex in return: one.)
I think back to all the casual encounters I’ve had since college, in which I gave men blowjobs while they seemed completely uninvested in getting me off. The most common denominator in the bad-sex stories I hear from women is men who are doing the bare minimum for female pleasure. So, what is it that makes casual sex so bad for straight women? Still, emotional investment isn’t a prerequisite to good sex. There’s no emotional investment in casual sex. No, these women are saying they don’t enjoy casual sex on a basic level. They aren’t swearing off casual sex because they want serious relationships or because they can’t handle casual arrangements - which is the prevailing cultural stereotype about women. When I tell other women I’m taking a break from non-relationship sex, they tell me they understand completely. And when I tweeted about the phenomenon, I received an overwhelming amount of replies and DMs, all from other women through with casual sex.
As a straight woman who’s been single for most of her 20s, I had exactly zero orgasms - and all with men who would only judge me for it later. I’d finally decided to swear off casual sex after a string of terrible encounters. For example, men are open on social media about their requirements for a “wifey” versus a casual sex partner. He was roundly mocked on social media, but he is far from the only man with a sexual double standard. Last year, DJ Khaled proudly announced that he didn’t go down on women. There’s just one little problem: The casual sex straight women are having is bad With movements to reclaim the words slut and ho and the numerous dating apps that enable us to have casual encounters with ease, it would seem casual sex is everywhere. Women like Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City” have been coded as empowering because of the high number of casual sexual encounters they have.
Dont call me up cause i dont wanna fuck tv#
Many of us grew up on TV shows, movies, and books that use promiscuity and independence synonymously. Now more mainstream, the conversations revolve around empowering women to have as much sex as they want, without shame. In the early 1980s, the focus took a feminist turn against anti-pornography feminists. The counterculture’s roots began in the 1960s, with sex positivity being about the power of undenied and unrepressed sex. Sex-positivity - the feminist movement that’s pushing to destigmatize sex - should be great for women. How we see the world shapes who we choose to be - and sharing compelling experiences can frame the way we treat each other, for the better.
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